To add to the superlatives heaped upon this aquatic tourist playground, comes the revelation that it is the location of my perfect job. On a sign nailed to a door just off the Grand Canal read seven words to gladden the soul of the encumbent every time they pass through it.
"Venetian Representative of the Principality of Monaco."
Maddie, perhaps a little overpraised for her efforts, had cycled without stabilisers 5 km to the port. She then spent most of the rest of the day wondering when she would get back to her bicycle to earn more praise. That was when she wasn't saying:
Daddy, can I have a mask?
Mummy, can I have a mask?
Daddy, can I have a mask?
Mummy, can I have a mask?
Daddy, can I have a mask?
Mummy, can I have a mask?
Daddy, can I have a mask?
Mummy, can I have a mask?
Venice, famous for its masks, has some sort of ridiculous quality policing in place for them. This means that nasty plastic versions of what are really quite heinous looking face coverings are just not available at prices that match their uselessness. So we were forced to patronise an establishment that also sold that other Venetian speciality, glass.
That is correct. A 2 year old and a 4 year old in a glass ornament shop that we had entered expressly to buy them a present. So they were hardly overexcited at all, then. Looking back at it, we were fortunate that none of the three smashed items cost more than €10 each.
Despite our insistence that we pay for the damage, our offers were dismissed with a smile. Laura, however, demonstrated our contrition by waving away the 10 cents change when proferred. As a token of our appreciation you see. 'No, no, keep it. I couldn't possibly. After all the trouble we've caused'. I'm glad I couldn't see the expression on the shopkeeper's face.
Chloe's Venice Diary
Pigeon chasing factor: high
Opportunity to play in fountain factor: high. Extra points earned for opportunity to stand in, drink, and splash sister. Mwah hah hah.
Spillages and breakages factor: high. One glass of beer (full); one box of glass jewellery (full). Mwah hah hah.
Irritating people in uniform factor: moderate. People are employed, apparently, to get irritated when I touch the barrier which has been put in place to stop people touching things. Mwah hah hah.
Interference from strangers: moderate. Hair ruffled by 4 of them. Photo taken by 1. Faces stored away for future disembowelment should we meet again. Mwah hah hah.
Irritation of parents factor: low. Only really provoked Mummy when I shouted 'I stab dogs' when one crossed my path. Daddy just laughed. A bit like this: Mwah hah hah.
Irritation of sister factor: high. Discovered that repetitively telling her she isn't 4 causes theatrical meltdown. Damn, is she easy to wind up. Mwah hah hah.
Maddie's Venice diary
Cycle cycle cycle. I was brilliant.
Got a Boccodamtella (or 'mask' for those of you who don't speak Italian).
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