Thursday 1 July Lake Bled, Slovenia

Some years ago we spent 5 or 6 days over New Year in the party deadland that is Klagenfurt, in southern Austria. Billed as a 'Winter Wonderland' by the Ryanair marketing department, the only Wonder was that anyone ever went there.

And the Winteriest part, we discovered yesterday, was the soul of the Klagenfurt railway ticket clerk who sold us tickets to Jesenice.

To break the monotony of Carinthia's permanently Geschlossen capital, we thought a trip over the border to glamorous Slovenia would light up our trip. Jesenice was the first Slovenian town the train stopped in, and knowing nothing of the country, it became our destination of choice. It took over an hour to get there and after twenty minutes of gazing awestruck at derelict factories, abandoned petrol stations and without a single bar or cafe open for business, we caught the train straight back, rather than wait the three hours required until the next one.

Now we discover that ten minutes down the track lies Slovenia's biggest tourist draw, Lake Bled. Overlooked by a fairytale castle, and with a picturesque island within easy rowing reach, there are any number of activities beyond just looking at the view.

One more reason to hate Klagenfurt and its black hearted railway personnel.

I should also like to use this platform to make a statement on behavioural etiquette when close to water.

Just because I have no interest in hurling myself into any body of water that happens to be nearby does not make me abnormal. Resolute landlubbing is not a crime.

Furthermore, no one emerged with any credit from the scene that unfolded on the shores of Lake Bled this afternoon.

1 There is no glory in attempting to push your clothed husband off a slippery raft. Even if you have done all the water centred childcare to date.

2 My pitiful clutching of van keys and wallet was no more than an emergency insurance policy against my involuntary entry into the body of water.

3 There was not much pride either in my convincing of the children that, given my lack of swimming prowess, I would be likely to drown. And no, Maddie did not know why Mummy was attempting such a sordid act. But their combined weight ensured my non-aquatic equanimity was maintained.