Sunday 4 July Lake Bled to Postojna, south west Slovenia

A day of travel leaves space for me to share some accummulated wisdom in the art of child rearing.

Parenting tip #1: Get your child to walk long distances over rough terrain and climb hundreds of steps without complaint by the application of the simple moniker 'Maddie Mountain Goat.' Said moniker is easily withdrawn, or better, altered to 'Maddie Mountain Whinge' when required and only reinstated when earned.

Parenting tip #2: Get your scaredy cat child to use the part of the climbing frames over the 2 ft mark without complaint by the application of the simple moniker 'SpiderMaddie.' Said moniker is easily withdrawn, or better, altered to 'SpiderWhinge' when required and only reinstated when earned.

Parenting tip #3: Stop your child from making dreadful whinging noises that sound, as a worried neighbour explained, like a baby vomiting. Whenever the noise is heard, use the simple moniker 'Princess Baby Vomit'.

Note, above tips are only likely to work on children for whom praise is a drug and vanity a way of life. None work on the sampled 2 year old who, we suspect, considers them pretty lame. And #3 doesn't work at all. But there is something intrinsically satisfying about it.